MY LIFE – 2022
It had been almost three years since
the corona virus hit our country. Coronavirus is a group of viruses that cause
a variety of respiratory, gastrointestinal and neurological diseases in humans
and other animals. In 2019 it became a major pandemic. It affected
different people in different ways. There
were several ideas of how it came into the
I started taking the medications but was not feeling any better. Jennifer came to Tennessee to check on me and I remember very little about her being there. She wanted me to go to the hospital for them to check me and I remember it was all I could do to walk to the car. We went to Fort Sanders Hospital and the waiting room was packed. I don't remember how long we sat there but it was a very long time before I was examined. One of the reasons I went to Fort Sanders was because that was where my kidney doctor was located. After several hours I was admitted. This was January 4th. It wasn't until February 22 that I would leave that hospital and go to North Carolina for Rehab. During this time I was moved to different rooms and I was the second patient to be moved to the then new addition called Fort Sanders Specialty Select. Moving day was an all day event as they moved patient by patient to the new facility. I could not tell that the treatment was improved or any different. The hospital always seemed to be short of staff and most of the RN's were traveling nurses only there for short periods of time. I am sure with Covid so rampant it was like this at all the hospitals.
A lot of my time at Fort Sanders is a blur. I could not breath and had to have oxygen. I think the only thing that kept me off of a ventilator was the fact that I had always had good lungs and had never smoked or had any lung problems. I started out at a very high dose of oxygen but gradually was weaned off of it. I could not eat. They would bring meal after meal and I would just look at it. I could not taste and I had horrendous sores in my mouth. They said I had "covid mouth". I could not even turn from one side of the bed to the other. I had no strength. To sit up on the side of the bed was a major struggle. Getting into a chair was impossible. I had no control of my bladder or bowels. I had to be taken care of as you would a baby. I found out later that one of the problems was the fact that I only had one kidney. I had a kidney removed 19 years earlier due to having cancer. After they removed the kidney I never had any problems. I didn't receive any further treatment and as far as function I could tell no difference. But they told me that often Covid would attack the weakest part of your body and it apparently decided to bomb my other kidney. I am not sure that some of the medication they were treating me with didn't also hurt my kidney. So here I was as helpless as a new born baby. This was during the time when people were not being allowed to visit the hospitals or stay with their family. We finally got permission for Jennifer to visit a very short time each day. She did a lot for me that the nurses didn't do. She would ask me each time what she could bring me. She brought all kinds of food she thought I might be able to eat. She would clean my teeth, brush my hair, change my clothes, massage my feet with lotion. She made sure I had water to drink and would fill my diffuser with good smelling oils to make me feel better. The nurses liked to come in my room because it always smelled so good after Jennifer had been there. When the nurses would say there was no hope and ready to give up on me Jennifer would say not yet. When Jennifer would go home to NC, Byron would come and stay. He also would bring me food that he thought I would eat especially things that Mary would cook. He would stop and get me milkshakes, he bought me a cushion prop to use to prop up in the bed. I could never remember all the things Jennifer and Byron done to make things better for me. At this time Josh was not able to come due to Amanda's immune system being so low that she could not take the risk of getting Covid or for him to get it and give it to her. He would call to check on me. So for the time I was in the hospital only Jennifer and Byron were allowed to come. David also would come and relieve Jennifer sometimes. One night when Jon was in Tennessee he was able to slip in under the title of clergy. I did not talk on the phone much but I received many, many cards. Jennifer and Byron made a post almost every day on Face Book to keep my friends updated on my condition. Many, many prayers went up for me and I know this is what finally pulled me through.
Due to not being able to eat they put a feeding tube in through my nose and into my stomach. This was the worse thing in the world. It hurt every time I made a move. The solution to this was to remove it and put one into my stomach. This was done and they began to feed me through this tube which was much better.
So now since the Covid had hit my other kidney it was decided that I needed to go on dialysis. I was taken again to surgery and a Venous Catheter was put in to be able to do the dialysis. So now I had been to surgery three times. Once for the feeding tube, again for the abdominal feeding tube and then for the venous catheter. So three times a week they would do the dialysis. They would bring in this big machine and hook me up to it. A dialysis nurse would stay with me the entire time. It would take most of the day and even Jennifer could not visit during that time. I had several different nurses that did the dialysis but one of my favorites was Diane Barker. We became Face Book friends and she still keeps up with me today. Sometimes just to feel better I would lay there and sing. At that time I still had a little bit of voice. Today I do not have the volume or voice strength to sing very much.
I had several doctors including my regular Nephrologist. I made a mistake one day when they asked me if I was depressed and I answered yes. Well, who wouldn't be with all of that going on. The next thing I knew I had a Psychologist coming to visit me. That was a joke. He would come in and he always had a joke to tell. When he found out I was a Baptist most of his jokes centered around that. Later when I began to get statements from my insurance company I couldn't believe that he was well paid for those 10 minute joke sessions.
I wanted to give up. I was ready to give up. One night during the middle of the night I thought I can't take this anymore. So I called Jennifer, who was staying at my house, during the middle of the night and asked her to come and get me. I said please come and get me, take me home, let me take a bath and put me in the bed and let all my family come to see me. She would not do it. She said mom you're not ready to give up. You've got too much fight in you to give up. You're going to get better. Byron said let mom do whatever she wants to do. So we know who won this discussion. Today I thank Jennifer and Jon for fighting for me although at the time it was the last thing I wanted to do. You know in the Bible where it says that sometimes you need somebody to pray in your place and that was how it was. I needed someone to fight for me because I could do it no longer.
So then followed day after day of ups and downs. Every night I would be poked over and over to draw blood for labs. I looked like I had been in a fight and did not win. My arms and hands were bruised all over and my stomach where they gave me injections was even worse. I dreaded the nights because they would have to try several times to draw blood and if they couldn't they would call in someone else to try. It was miserable. The days began to pass and a little at a time there seemed to be some improvement. I was able to eat a little and sit up in a chair for a little bit. I hated to get up in a chair because the help was so bad that I would sit there for 5 hours before I could get help to lay back down. Physical and occupational therapy was called in and began to work with me to stand and to take a few steps. Time was passing slowly. I could see the snow falling outside through my window and the next thing I knew it was Valentine Day it was also Luke's birthday and he turned 16 years old. Jennifer got me a beautiful Valentine throw for my bed.
As I said a lot of those days are a blur in my mind. It was finally decided I would be moved to a rehab center for therapy. The first place the case manager wanted to put me was at my former place of employment which was now Beverly Park Place formally Hillcrest Nursing Institute where I had spent 25 years of my life working as a LPN. I did not want to do this because I did not think their therapy was intense enough for the help I needed. They talked about Patricia Neal Rehabilitation and other places. Then Jennifer began to fight again. She said mom we have an excellent rehab place in North Carolina. I want you to go there. So after many phone calls and convincing the case manager that this was what we wanted to do it was decided that I would come to North Carolina for rehab. By now I had been in the hospital for 50 days. I remember the day that I left the hospital I still could not hardly do anything. Jon came in and I remember he helped me into my car and it was all I could do to slide onto the seat with his help. So here we are all packed up and ready to make the trip to North Carolina.
I wanted to say goodbye to my sisters June and Phyllis so it was decided they would meet us at McDonalds just before we would get on the interstate. Byron and Mary also came to tell me bye. I remember asking for a fish sandwich from McDonalds and was able to eat part of it. I had lost an enormous amount of weight. None of my clothes would fit. Anyway we met at McDonalds and never in my wildest imagination did I know that within the next month my sister June would be diagnosed with bladder and stage 4 lung cancer. I was so glad to see them. I had not seen them since our dinner at Shoney's on December 21, 2021 and it was now February 22, 2022 They brought me Christmas gifts and we visited for about 30 minutes. Then it was on the interstate for our trip to North Carolina never knowing things would never be the same again.
After a four and a half hour trip from Tennessee we arrived at our destination. Novant Health Rehabilitation an affiliate of Encompass Health. I was only there for two weeks but the therapy was intense. What made it worse for me was the fact that I would have to go to the Northside Dialysis Center three times a week for dialysis. I had to be transported and they would get me up real early to be ready when transport got there. We would get to the center and the dialysis would take almost 5 hours and then I would have to wait for transport to come back to take me back to the rehab center. One day I had to wait almost two hours for them to pick me up. Then I would get back totally exhausted and it would be lunch time and as soon as lunch was over it was time for therapy. The therapy would last about 4 hours. I began to make a little improvement and I stayed there for two weeks. While there I celebrated my 79th birthday. We came up on the 22nd of February and my birthday was the 24th. I got several bouquets of flowers. Jennifer got me several gifts and we celebrated in style. The people at Freedom Baptist were so good to me sending me flowers and cards. So in two weeks it was determined I would be discharged and go to Jennifer and Jon's home. I would continue with outpatient therapy both physical and occupational. The next several months composed of therapy, dialysis and doctor visits. I still could not get up out of a chair without help. We had handicap ramps that were installed by the good men at Freedom Baptist and I had a shower chair and over the commode chair. To help with me being able to get out of the chair by myself we ordered a lift chair. That was a big help. I no longer felt like I had to have help to stand up. I was also using a walker at this time. I began to be able to do a little more. I could help Jennifer some by peeling potatoes and cutting up vegetables for her. I was finally released from therapy. Spring was now in full force and I made my first trip to church since December on April 17th. In May we made a trip to Tennessee for David's graduation from Crown College. He had been staying at my house while I was gone. I was able to see all of my family while I was there. Back to North Carolina where my Nephrologist was trying to get me off of dialysis. We were able to cut out one day of the week and eventually two days a week. I was so happy to only have to go one day. We tried to cut out the one day a week but my labs would not stay level so I was left on dialysis one day a week.
Summer was here now and the garden began to produce. I was able to break beans and I canned 21 quarts. I cut up and put in the freezer several bags of okra. We had lots of tomatoes and Jennifer made several quarts of spaghetti sauce. I felt more useful being able to do these things. But along with being happy with the progress I was making my heart was now saddened by the quickly and terminal illness that was taking my sister June away. I did not know that when we went out to eat in April it would be the last time we would be going out. I was able to see her one more time on one of my visits but she was very sick by that time and had decided not to have anymore treatment for the cancer. I was able to face time with her once. On June 15th I received that phone call that none of us want to get that she had passed. In another week and a half she would of been 89 years old. Our hearts were broken. This was sad enough but earlier that morning I received another phone call that would turn our world upside down. My call was from Kevin telling me that his brother Ronnie Lee, my brother Ron's son had passed away. This was heartbreaking. He was only 40 years old and had three precious little girls. This was an unexpected death and devastating to our family. So not only did we grieve the passing of June but now the grief of the passing of Ronnie Lee. The next few days we were headed back to Tennessee for the funerals.
No matter how sad we were life had to go on. So we came back to North Carolina and I continued in dialysis and the White family had their normal summer activities of camps and VBS. I purchased a canopy swing so I could sit outside on the deck but it was always so hot I didn't sit out a lot. On July 4th I drove for the first time since December. I drove to church and felt like I had accomplished a lot. I did have some set backs during this time. I fell and knocked my left shoulder out of joint. It took finally putting me to sleep to get it back in place. I had to have my Venous Catheter replaced three different times because it was not draining as it should.
Some decisions needed to be made. So the first of September after much discussion and prayer it was decided that I would sell my home there in Tennessee. This was one of the hardest decisions that I ever had to make. I loved my home and had lived on that piece of property 60 years with 50 plus being in that same house. It was the only home Josh had ever known and even Jennifer was only a few years old when we built it. Byron could remember more about living in the other house on that property. So I called Teri Williams (Stanley's niece) that I had known for years and knew she was a realtor. I called her just to get some advice on how to go about it and she said she would be glad to sell my house for me and I accepted. That was the best decision I could of made. She not only was an excellent realtor but she was able to get top dollar for my home. So that was the first of September and I closed on my house on October 31st. I felt good about the people that bought the house. Ironically his name was James and her name was Carol. His middle name was Matthew so it just seemed like an omen that they should be the ones to buy the house as my James name was James Carroll and one of our grandsons was named Matthew James in honor of his grandpa.
During the month of September and October Byron's family, Jennifer and Jon's mother Debbie White cleaned out my house. I was still not able to do much and was probably more of a hinderance than help. Many trips were made to the dump and the Rescue Mission. Slowly but surely the house was emptied of 50 plus years of accumulations and memories. We had so many good memories of living there and having lots of family get togethers. We would always have a wiener roast in October, Thanksgiving was a time of family being together and our Christmas Tree Trimming Party was looked forward to each year. The Burlap picture that Pam made when she was 6 years old and we had framed would never be brought out to sit in its special place beneath the tree again at that house. I would never again have the first rose from the rose bush by the back deck that James would pick each year for me to wear in my hair. But life goes on. I was no longer able to care for the house and was not able to do the steps and drive to West Knoxville for doctor appointments and dialysis. It was decided now for me to stay in North Carolina.
A new chapter in my life was about to begin. I was now living with Jennifer and Jon and their boys. My nephrologist suggested that I go on Peritoneal Dialysis. Peritoneal Dialysis is done at home. It is not as hard on your body as doing the hemodialysis. It is done during the night and takes nine hours on the machine not counting the set up and shut down time. So my nights are quite complicated. Because the drain on the dialysis machine requires an output source I needed to have access to a bathroom. I do not sleep good and was sitting up part of the night in the recliner. Since we had not decided what I was going to do next I decided to look in to an independent living community as a possibility.
A little over a mile from Jennifer and Jon's home was a place called Arbor Ridge. I had passed it several times in driving to the Food Lion but did not realize what it was. So I talked to Jennifer about finding a place that I could move to that would meet all the needs that I had. We started looking into different options and made an appointment to tour Arbor Ridge. I loved it right off. It is a beautiful place. They had all of the amenities that I needed. Three meals a day, beauty shop, library, game room, theater, and more. So I closed on my home on Friday October 28th and signed for an apartment at Arbor Ridge on Monday October 31st. It took a couple of weeks and lots of work on the part of Jennifer, Debbie and the White boys to get all of my furniture in the apartment and everything set up. I had brought several of my things from home and purchased a few things that I needed. One of the things I got for my apartment that was a want and not a need was an electric fireplace. I love it and it makes it seem so homey.
At this point I am settled into my Independent Living apartment and am beginning to make friends and participate in some of the activities. It will never be the same and I have accepted that. I am looking forward to the new year and hoping that neither me nor any of my family will ever have to go through another year like 2022.
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